To go about.

I have had a hard time dictating recent thoughts to myself. I am more often used to sporadic possessions by which subconscious reflections are made in sparse, intense pulses.

I dare say that after two months of employment, I have already changed. This continues to bring up a great deal of speculation. Enough in such a time that I am unsure if it is appropriate to think about these things.

Why do people tell me to slow down? Why am I not being encouraged to work these long hours, to think about projects that are outside my responsibilities? Why am I being discouraged from attempting more, from becoming more efficient? My approach to this job right now is to become as dependable as possible in the shortest time possible. I want my skill-set to expand, I want to earn respect by being burdened with higher expectations.

This isn't how it was before. Who am I now? I am suddenly becoming my responsibilities. I am suddenly valuing others based on their commitment to their own. I hear only the slightest whimper of remorse, small, imperceptible... People don't understand. I don't understand. Why does the part of me who wants regret for this earned poverty -- a poverty of wanton expulsions, feel more like a refreshment than a prerogative?

I have become someone and something. I am not sure if it is planned, and I know only that it must continue. There is time, only now, to catch up. In that time period, I must exceed